How to reduce holiday excess?

Eek. The holidays are coming and, aside from the merriment and good tidings, you know what that means: lots of 'stuff.' More plastic battery-operated toys. Another stuffed animal. An argyle sweater for hubby and a purple plastic purse for you. Tchochkes and gee-gaws. Generally, it's well-meaning family and friends that bestow the 'stuff' on you and your kids. Maybe they live in other states and don't really know what you like; they just feel obligated to get you something.

I'm planning to start talking to relatives now before the shopping frenzy begins. The first step is probably to think of good alternatives to Chicken Dance Elmo, which shouldn't be too hard. Think about what your kids are interested in:

• My daughter loves musical theatre, so tickets to one of the children's theatre productions would be great.
• My son absolutely adores trains, but he's got buckets of them. But he doesn't have that many books about trains.
• Both kids love to draw, so art supplies are always welcome (even better if they come from Scrap!).
• Something that might be more meaningful, however, is identifying a non-profit that represents something they both love and requesting donations in lieu of gifts. In our case, we vacation on Orcas Island every year and spend much of our time scanning the waters for Orca whales from our rental. Since Orca whales are on the endangered species list, the kids could identify with and get excited about an organization like the Orca Relief Citizen's Alliance. The Humane Society, the Children's Museum, SMART -- there are just a ton of organizations out there that need financial support.

That's the easy part. The hard part is how to talk about your preferences without offending anyone. As in most cases, honesty is probably the best answer. And I think that most people appreciate gift-giving guidance (right?). Because of past generosity, my kids have plenty of (too many) toys. Since we're trying to reduce our consumption of stuff and teach our kids that they have enough stuff, I plan to ask family members to help us re-enforce that message (and if they really care, then hopefully they will listen). I'll have a list of ideas handy in case they request one.

What do you think about all of this? Is it being too pushy with my ideals? Looking a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak? Any other suggestions for ways to approach this touchy subject? Other alternative gift ideas to share?