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Brown thumb seeks green thumb for possible love connection

So how does one become a gardener? I have big plans this year. Last year's flower garden will become this year's produce garden. I have visions of lettuces, herbs, carrots, melons, berries and bananas and coconuts.

Wait, what was that? Bananas and coconuts only grow in the tropics? OK, well scratch the bananas and coconuts then.

That's the thing. I don't know nuthin' bout plantin' no gardens. And I find the endeavor intimidating. Last year I think I got fairly lucky as a first-timer growing my peas, beans and blueberries. But I do think I need to move my blueberry to a better sun spot.

Heather suggested today that one becomes a gardener by trial and error. And that's the problem. I don't want to mess with the "error" part. I just want to dig in, plant some perfect plants and see my garden grow by the bushel-full. I don't want to read a book about it. Or watch a video. I think I need a gardening mentor.

Does such a thing exist? Should I place a personal ad in the paper: "brown thumb seeks green thumb for possible love connection and lots of produce?" I'm aware of the Growing Gardens program helping out lower income people in the Portland area. But what about for us middle-class folks? Is there something similar?

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