Disposable hat. Useless products. Buyer beware.

I did not mean to buy a disposable hat, but that is in fact what I did. A little background. On our family vacation to Florida last summer, I knew there was no way we'd leave this tourist magnet without spending a little bit of money on souvenirs. Gift shops abounded. We were shocked and horrified at how much some of the Disneyfied trinkets go for. So the siren call of the mermaid store, which was between Disney World and our vacation rental, soon became irresistible. She beckoned not only with her giant mermaid sculpted body in bas relief along the expanse of the storefront -- but with shopping teases such as "beach towels as low as $2.99!" and "Disney t-shirts for $1.99." Sure, we knew all this stuff would be poorly made, overseas, probably in sweatshops. But the alternative was spending about ten times as much for the same stuff in Disney shops. So we stopped to shop.

We spent a long time shopping. I told my two daughters they could each pick one thing. My younger daughter had a hard time deciding. After picking up and putting down about 200 items, she settled on a toy Tinkerbell made-in-China cell-phone that started falling apart before we were even 10 minutes from the store. Price: $9.99. My older daughter, ever practical, opted for a sun hat. I was overjoyed. What a wonderful, useful souvenir! What a sensible child I have raised! I have not been good at enforcing sunscreen and hats when we work in the garden, but felt this would make that job easier if she could wear a hat of her own choosing. Price: $12.99. Much self-congratulation for not spending a lot of cash on souvenirs.

Now, I have done a good job in recent years of religiously reading the labels of all foods we buy. We routinely say "no" to the overly processed, high fructose corn syrup, GMO, individually packaged, trans-fat containing food-like substances (thank you Michael Pollan). Woe to me for not examining the label on my daughter's hat. It reads: "100% paper."

On first glance, that doesn't sound so bad. A paper hat. What a wonderful example of reuse! But after a week of wading in creeks at farm camp, jumping in sprinklers and some hours at the beach -- said paper hat has seen better days. I don't think there is much hope for it. It is floppy and shapeless and falling apart. So here's my thoughts:

• Is straw really that expensive that they had to make this hat out of paper??
• How many unfortunate souls have also spent good money on these worthless, disposable hats?
• How many thousands or hundreds of thousands of these crap hats have been made?
• Shame on me for not reading the label when I was shopping.
• Paper hats should be outlawed.

Obviously, I will do a better job in the future of reading labels on everything. But I do really think paper hats should be outlawed. Clearly, their profit margin must be higher on a paper hat than a straw hat. But it's so sad and wasteful to make a product that fails almost immediately. While I'm making my list of things that should be outlawed, I'll mention those blasted gas-fueled leaf blowers that lawn crews use. What would you add to the most wasteful products in the world list??