Dear new President,

Congrats! I'm so _____ (ecstatic/bummed) that you are our new president! I just _____ (knew/feared) it would turn out this way. So let's get down to business, shall we?

You've been talking about energy independence for months now, so I'm going to hold you to that. But let's get a few things straight. Alaska is not to be touched. Nuclear energy is not the answer. Clean coal is a bunch of hoo-ha. What I'm looking for is some innovation. Let's talk about infrastructure. How can we change (major keyword, yes?) the infrastructure of America so that it is less dependent on fossil fuels? Can we regionalize manufacturing? Can we build a high-speed rail network to transport goods and people? Can we put the long-haul trucking industry out of business? Can we make companies operate more efficiently and no longer count carbon offsets as their sole means of being 'carbon neutral'? Can we force auto manufacturers to exclusively produce vehicles that get 40 mpg? Can you look at our economy, jobs, capitalism in general, and ask yourself, "What can I do to align the American dream with the health and longevity of this beautiful planet?" Think about it over the next couple of months.

I'm pretty sure that the White House is stocked with Tide and Bounty and Windex and all of their relatives. I would love to stop by sometime and give you a total green mansion makeover. I know, it's a little scary, but not nearly as scary as Iran. Your shirts will be clean. Your counters will be safe from food-borne bacteria. Your body will be free of odors and potentially life-threatening by-products. Trust me, as I must now trust you. I only have your best interests at heart. God bless America!

Love,

Heather

PS: I will be drinking much champagne tonight to _____ (celebrate/mourn) your victory! I'm just glad the whole thing is finally over. Enjoy this special night!