I have spent the past several weeks helping a friend empty the 4,000 square foot home of her in-laws, both of whom passed away last year. I didn't know this couple who were married for 50-plus years and raised four children together, but I feel connected to them. I've been through their closets and cupboards and nooks and crannies, and I've listened to my friend tell stories about their happy life together. From this, I've learned some valuable lessons.
1. Fill your home with quality, durable furniture and household goods.
Now, a 4,000 square foot home is quite a footprint. But it wasn't filled with stuff pulled off the shelves at a discount store. It was filled with timeless, quality items acquired over a lifetime. I know this because a lot of the furniture, decor and other items were taken by the four children for use in their own lives. Some things were given to close friends. But there was plenty of good stuff left over, and that's where I came in. Rather than hire a couple of guys to haul everything to the dump (which, sadly, is what often happens to the 'leftovers' of an estate), my friend and I spent days going room by room and boxing up books, kitchen items, clothing, ornaments, tools (an endless, exhaustive list) and categorizing them for various non-profit organizations. Community Warehouse and Volunteers of America filled their trucks with furniture and goods. Dress for Success received several gorgeous Pendleton Woolen Mills jackets and some lovely clothing. The list goes on.
2. Clear out the clutter.
This couple's generation was well-versed in reuse and holding onto every last item 'just in case' you need it again. I think this mentality is great...to a point. Saving too much can lead to a lot of clutter, so you need to be realistic and relentless about clearing out what you don't need (and preferably not acquiring it in the first place!). We sorted bags of non-reusable plastics for recycling at Far West Fibers. We combed through files, waded through 50 years of receipts, emptied old seed packets and filled the curbside rollcart with paper. We filled numerous metal coffee cans with scrap metal and boxes with hazardous waste. We recycled and reused absolutely everything we could, until all that was left were items destined for the dump. One dumpster load from 4,000 square feet of house. Pretty amazing.
3. Chances are you have everything you need.
I had every opportunity to take whatever items I wanted for my own use, but I ended up with just a handful of things. Some books, an embroidery hoop, a wool blanket. My friend and I discovered that wading through all of this stuff, despite its cool-factor, made us reflect on what we already had and not add to it (more clutter)! So whenever we came upon a cool vintage item (so dang tempting!) we'd hold it up and proclaim, "Someone is going to be so happy to find this at the thrift store!" For very useful items we'd say, "I don't really need this, but someone else really does." It kind of become our mantra.
After spending a day de-cluttering the big house with my friend, we'd both go home and start emptying drawers and cupboards at our own homes. It is so liberating when you know exactly what lives in your house! We both found that neither one of us wants to add any unnecessary stuff to our lives. This whole experience has been such a powerful lesson in stepping back and reevaluating what we have and what we need. A rather morbid question I've been asking myself is, "What do I want to leave behind for my children? What can I do now to make the task of clearing out our home a joyful task for my kids?" (Hopefully I'll have many more years to work on this.) It's an ongoing process, because it's pretty hard not to not ever acquire stuff over a lifetime (particularly with kids). But it helps to step back and make acquiring stuff a more thoughtful process. I'm sending out a lot of love to the K family for teaching me this valuable lesson!
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