Calculating the carbon footprint of a fish

My youngest, who is a FREAK for animals, has been working me hard for a pet. I'm no sucker. I know who shovels the poop, buys the heavy bags of kitty litter, takes Snookums to the vet. The Mom! That's who! And I have enough trouble keeping my two darling children fed and alive, ThankYouVeryMuch.


She's on a goldfish kick now, thanks to a unit they are studying at school. Did you know that goldfish only have a a memory span of up to three seconds? Here. Let me demonstrate…

'Honey, can you clean your fish tank now?'

'In a minute.'

{One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi... Nothing happens.}

'Honey, can you clean your fish tank now?...'

Sounds like fish might fit in fine in this family… But I don't know. A pet! Even just a fish. Because you know what? The second I started weakening just a little about the fish, you know what she asked for? A hamster! Do you know where that will lead? A dog, for crying out loud. Back to the poop shoveling in the first paragraph. This kid is playing me for a fool! Right AFTER I just reduced all those handy plastic newspaper bags out of our lives!!

There's some new green book out with a sensationalist title: Time to Eat the Dog (and let me just tell you, that'll win friends and influence people here in dog-heaven Portland!). I don't know if it's really about that. But no question, pets have carbon footprints too. Did you consider the carbon footprint of your pet when you became a pet owner? And how much trouble could one little fish be?