Screen-free week: two screens we're loving

To wrap up this week, I want to share a couple screens we can't get enough of around here. First up is this little screen:

For Christmas, Santa (a true believer in reuse) regifted an iPod Nano (minus the earbuds) and gave it to my 2nd grader. Along with it came a docking/speaker station, which is super lightweight and easily carried from room to room. This little set-up has dramatically changed the mood of our home, as well as the habits of our kids. We loaded up the iPod with fun, favorite tunes for both kids and adults so everyone enjoys the music. And it's on a lot. Now, I like music just as much as the next person, but we seldom ever listen to our CDs anymore. Music! I've missed you! When the kids are down in the playroom, they've got the tunes going and there's spontaneous singing and dancing and toe-tapping. Dance party in the living room? Yes. Music for drawing to? Please. Having this little device allows the kids to feel in control of some part of their media experience, and it's a great substitution for other screens. 

But then there are quieter times, when the kids are off at school, and I find myself drawn to another screen...the window in our breakfast nook. I can spend long stretches of time staring out this window, watching this scene unfold just a few feet away:

A mama robin has built a nest, and if all goes well we'll have a bird's eye view of the eggs, the hatching, the feeding and the fledging. Do I feel like I'm wasting time just standing here at the window, observing? No. It's a gift. (And probably better than sitting on my ass reading about Heidi Montag's implants.) We feel blessed to have the opportunity to watch this cycle unfold. We talk about the family, we watch mom and dad swoop through the yard, picking up debris and scratching for food. We wonder when she'll settle in and pop out her eggs. Our fingers are crossed!

Screen-free week: free-ranging the kids and making a list of alternatives

Participating in Screen-Free Week now is not nearly as daunting as it was the first time three years ago. We've gotten a grip on our screen time, and my kids will tell you that too much TV can turn your mind and your body to mush. (Brainwashing, anyone?) During these warmer, lighter days requests for screen time are less frequent than during the dark winter months. And thanks to the book Free-Range Kids and my own loosening up, a bigger world has opened up to them that is far more interesting than anything Ruff Ruffman could concoct (though, I must confess, I do like his show).

One of the biggest free-range changes we've made? They get to play in the street. Yes, folks, we've taken back our residential street and will not be intimidated by motorists BECAUSE THEY CAN FIND A NEW SHORTCUT TO TAKE. Obviously there are rules that we've gone over and over, and I sat outside and monitored their behavior the first couple of weeks we tried this out. But my confidence in them has bolstered their own confidence and independence, and they are careful. They watch out for each other. "Car!" As a bonus, my 2nd grader now gets to walk about 1/3 of a mile by herself to visit a couple of friends in the neighborhood -- huge.

I asked my kids to come up with a list of things they'd rather** do than watch television/play Wii/play on the computer:

ride bikes, scooter and skateboard in the driveway and street - throw paper airplanes - play catch with the baseball - pretend battle games - catch (and release) garden snakes - play with the neighbors - make mud soup - build a fort - play Little House in the Big Woods - sandbox - shoot hoops - draw and paint - read - listen to music - dance and sing - play Uno - play Bakugon/Pokemon/Magic - build giant train tracks - write books - puzzles - take pictures - dress up like superheroes - build Star Wars galaxy out of blocks and Legos - play babies - build inventions - play with horses - build cities - play house - build a house - hide & seek - play restaurant - watch the birds - build robots - make an elf workshop - take a nap (really?) - play Legos - climb trees - walk to the park/library/school (with an adult) - bake muffins with mom - play with stuffed animals - make shadow puppets - help make dinner - tell knock-knock jokes

And do you know what I'm going to do with this list? (Wah, ha ha.) The next time they whine about 'being bored' I'm going to hand them this list and say, "But look at all of your exciting options! Pick one!" Brilliant, yes?

** Do I believe they'd rather do those things than watch screen? Not entirely. Screen is pretty seductive. But when they have so many options that they've created for themselves (not to mention the ones they haven't even dreamed up yet!), screen is not always in the forefront of their minds...minds that are probably (hopefully) not turning to mush. 

Screen-free week: media in moderation, many surprises

On Sunday, the sun was shining so we plopped the cushions from our lawn chairs on the grass out front, and just sat around reading and soaking up the rays. While I don't want to sound all freaky about this, that afternoon I felt like we were living out our family brand. We are the family that plays together: bikes, hikes, gardens, reads, plays cut-throat Uno and Blokus. Other times, it's like we are a different family. We zone out: each of the kids on their own computers, visiting Learning.com or PBSKids, my husband off watching the Blazers, and me trying to finish that last bit of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution that I'd recorded. I feel uncomfortable when we're all in our own separate media words. I'm usually the one that sets the limits and makes sure we all log out before our brains turn to mush.

After partaking of our weekend media time, the kids almost invariably ask: What can we do? These immensely creative kids who invent games like there's no tomorrow, suddenly are lacking creativity and drive after being entertained by the bells and whistles of the Web. This doesn't surprise me. It fuels my desire to limit their exposure on those rainy, tired days when it seems OK to veg out for a bit.

We live in a media rich world, and I don't want to entirely remove my kids from those influences. Yet it's often surprising how their media knowledge makes itself known.

• After reading aloud the umpteenth 'A to Z Mystery' to my 5-year-old, I read the author's note who said he loves to get mail from his readers with story suggestions, then was rather stunned when my oldest said: 'Can't we just email him instead?'
• I was equally surprised when my oldest said to my youngest one day, 'Hey, let's go check out bottom.com!' It was a joke. The site doesn't exist, but if it did, it'd prominently feature potty-humor that appeals to grade schoolers.
• Both my kids are expert on the monkey bars, and my oldest at the hula-hoop -- two skills I wished I could master, but never did. Back in the 70s, a cousin of mine once described a visit with me and my brother as somewhat lacking: 'All they ever do is watch TV and eat cornflakes.' Ouch! Not surprising then that I never found the time or energy to hoop or monkey successfully.
• Earlier in the school year, a 5-year old kid came over for a playdate after school, but kept asking if they could watch a show. Don't get me wrong. This is a nice kid, who seemed at a total loss how to just play. Gosh, it made me sad. Is there a connection between kids having too much media exposure and schools hiring recess coaches?
• Kids need to learn the distinction between playing on the computer, vs. real work that is computer-based. When we discussed screen-free week, they wanted to know if my husband was going to be screen-free at work. That's different. And I pay the bills online, etc. But watching basketball and checking the infernal Facebook -- we as role models probably want to tone that stuff down this week. And we'd be fools if we think we can trick our kids in this regard -- as to what is real work and what is play.

If there's anything that seems to have really resonated this week, it's the price we pay as media consuming or abstaining role-models. It isn't easy to find the balance, but moderation is key. I was pleased to learn that the First Family limits their kids' media exposure to just the weekends. Strength in numbers, right?

What are the surprises you've found from media exposure and media limitation?

Screen-free week: Role modeling and the Facebook Fast

I constantly have to remind myself that my kids are watching me like a hawk, absorbing my behaviors and often adapting them. This makes for many cringe-worthy moments, but also for some proud ones. Like any other behavior you try to reinforce, you probably won't have much success unless you do it yourself. You can't teach your kid to chew with her mouth closed if you eat like a horse. The same goes for screen. If you're spending most of your time staring at a screen when your kids are around, they will want to do the same. TV is not an issue for me, and I don't have a fancy cell phone that browses the web and receives email (because if I did, I would be looking at it constantly). My screen struggles are right here on the computer.

Several weeks ago I finally hit the wall. I was depressed, sick and unmotivated and trying to find escape online. I'm not sure how much time I was spending on the computer, but it felt like too much. Most of it was reading blogs, and then clicking on a link, then to another link. It was like I was looking for something, some great insight that would help me, what? Figure out how to be a better person? So I decided to put myself on an online diet. Major. Here's what I did:

1) In one fell swoop I emptied out my Google reader and unsubscribed from all of my favorite blogs. I figured they weren't going anywhere, so if I needed them again one day, I could find them.

2) I stopped checking Facebook. I'm not really a big FB user, but I was checking it a couple of times a day, reading all of those status updates from high school people I haven't thought about in 20 years, letting that useless information infect my brain. I didn't miss it!

3) I stopped receiving daily digest emails from a Yahoo! group that I'm really not that active in. Always read the digest, but never really participated -- why bother?

4) I stopped checking news sites, you know, for the latest! breaking! news! as well as People.com and other brain candy sites. I knew far too much about the cast of Gossip Girl yet had never watched the show.

Basically for most of March I limited myself to writing this here blog, checking email and only browsing the web if I needed to research a recipe or something important. And I only did it when the kids were at school. Oh. My. God. It was liberating! It was like an instant energy boost. Well, hello reality! You're not so bad after all! I gained a ton of time and focused on getting healthy and being really present for my family and myself. I was active instead of passive, busy and engaged, and it felt (feels) great.

Little by little I've eased up on some of those online restrictions, but not by much. I just don't feel that compulsion anymore, like some part of my identity is wrapped up in those online destinations, and if I don't go there then I might miss out on something important! But also, I kind of don't have the time anymore. There are yard projects underway and a new exercise class to get to and hikes to take with my mom and baseballs to throw and bike tires to pump up and the list goes on. 

I want to show my kids that you can be entertained and engaged by alternative means. You can MAKE your own fun, and for the most part they are really great about doing that. (In fact, they are working on a list of 'things we'd rather be doing than watching television' to share with you later in the week.) When they do get some screen time, they know it's a privilege and they really think about how they want to use it -- what site to play on or show to watch. But ultimately, they have a lot more fun away from it. That's how I'm feeling about the online world these days -- it's a nice place to visit once in awhile, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Do you struggle with computer time? Have you found a good balance between the virtual and real world?

Screen-free week: lasting decision, ample rewards, small surprises

If you asked my kids today, they'd deny ever having had any infatuation with Elmo. Or Clifford the Big Red Dog. Or Dora the Explorer. Any of those preschool-age animated media titans. But they'd be lying. There was a time when they'd practically beg to watch a show, and I'd willingly oblige. If the experts said young kids should watch no more than 2 hours a day, mine would get their full 120 minutes before I switched off the boob tube. Hey -- I watched Mr. Rogers, Zoom, Scooby-Doo, and the Electric Company as a kid -- and I turned out OK, right?! It was easy to justify.

But like many parenting decisions, choosing to let my kids become couch potatoes for two hours a day was a slippery slope. I needed it. They needed it. Like a drug. And that media exposure had costs. Why was it that my kids knew all about Chuck E. Cheese, when they'd never been there? I found that two hours could easily be extended with just a small amount of whining. What's just one more show? Some studies say American kids' screen time averages around 3-4 hours per day, while others report it's as high as 7.5 hours, 7 days per week thanks to 24-hour cable television offerings, increasing access to the Internet and the prevalence of smart phones.

After attending a powerful presentation several years ago by local media expert and author Ellen Currey-Wilson, I decided our family needed to get the TV monkey off our backs, and to participate in TV Turnoff Week (also called Screen-Free Week). For us, it was an exercise is going cold turkey, and I pretty much knew we'd never turn back if we could make it through the week alive. I won't kid you. It wasn't pretty, but survive we did. And screen time, in essence, got kicked to the corner. Once we broke free of daily screen fix, we agreed that it would only ever be an option on the weekends. And because it's used so infrequently, my kids don't often remember to ask if they can watch a show, or play on the computer. Unlike the years when we were Elmo junkies.

I don't know about you. As a parent, I look at my kids each day as works-in-progress and I see all the behaviors we still need to work on. But the media thing? Limiting screen time at an early age was an important and pivotal parenting decision that we got definitively right. What's rewarding and also sometimes surprising? That so much is connected to media exposure: a child's activity level, creativity and imagination, the ability to simply play, self-motivation, the time and desire to participate in nature and be outdoors, how well they sleep, and how well they do at school.

Heather and I feel that TV Turnoff / Screen-Free Week is such an important topic, that we will commit this whole week to focusing on it (this is the week our school participates, while many others tie it to Earth Day and may have done it last week). We'll talk about what our kids do instead of being couch potatoes. We'll be here to motivate and cheer you on if your family is struggling through a Screen-Free Week right now. We'll discuss our important job as role models, and the choices we make to limit our time in front of our TVs, computers and phones.

It is hard work to break the media habit, but the rewards are huge! Most of all -- we hope you'll share your triumphs and struggles, as well as the pay-offs and surprises you've found. And ultimately, how to live in a media rich world in moderation.

Are you in? Struggling right now? What wisdom do you have to share?

Super school sign: idle free zone!

Without much ado, this sign was posted at our elementary school earlier in the year. I wish it stood out a little more. I wish it had some flashing lights, saying 'Hey! Look at me! I'm talking to YOU!' It's set back about six feet from the sidewalk and parking lot, hanging with the other signs that state the school is a smoke-free zone and that no skateboarding is allowed. But I do like what it says:

• IDLE FREE ZONE
• TURN ENGINE OFF
• Young Lungs at Work

I also wish it had a special robotic arm that would extend out and knock on the windshield of the folks who don't seem to think this message applies to them. But that's just crazy talk. Perhaps they aren't aware of the many hazards of idling a car? Just a friendly little robotic arm tap. Nothing too aggressive.

Kudos to the Portland Office of Transportation for making the sign. I'd love to see one of these babies posted near every playground, school and library in the country. Like most things, if you just make people aware of the issues, they'll probably do the right thing. Baby steps.

Review & give-away: The Eco-Nomical Baby Guide

I didn't prepare a proper Earth Day post today because we talk about it and (try to) live it every day! I'm glad we have Earth Day because it draws worldwide attention to this topic so near and dear to our hearts, but I don't feel any particular urge to wax poetic today. Except to say that Renee and I are so thankful to you all for being here, being supportive of each other and sharing. So today we're giving away a little something that will help new parents continue down that path! 

The authors of The Eco-nomical Baby Guide: Down-to-Earth Ways for Parents to Save Money and the Planet, Joy Hatch and Rebecca Kelley, sent me a copy of their book for review, and I gotta be honest, I wasn't that excited to read it. After all, I'm not having any more babies. But when I finally sat down with it, I was riveted and wished something like this had been around 9 years ago when I was pregnant with #1. But you know, so much has changed since then. Even just in the last three years that we've been EnviroMomming! The green movement has touched everyone, particularly the maternity set, so yippee for all of you pregnant women out there! You guys are going to want to get your hands on this book.

Joy and Rebecca write from personal experience, which always resonates so much stronger than a simple 'do this, do that' type of book. For instance, Rebecca actually itemized all of the stuff she bought for her new baby (massive reuse, Craigslisting, hand-me-downs) and compared it to the national average. Hers: $1005; National average: $6665. These moms are HUGE advocates of smart reuse and being realistic about what you NEED for baby and not buying into all of the hype from manufacturers who want you to think you need a ton of excess stuff. And - bonus! - by doing so you can save a boatload of money.

There are two whole chapters devoted to diapering: one breaks down all the costs involved with disposables, flushables and cloth and the environmental ramifications of each; another is devoted to cloth diapering and everything you'd want to know about it. Invaluable stuff here. What's powerful about this book is that they've tied all of these 'green baby' decisions back to dollars and have proven that it actually costs way less to raise a baby by making smart, sustainable choices. Eschew the $70 bamboo baby blanket for a hand-me-down! Learn how to make your own organic baby food without breaking the bank! It's all here in a well-organized, informative and personable guide.

So let's give one away! If you'd like a copy for yourself or as a gift for a green-minded mom-to-be, post a comment and we'll pick the winner at random. (Make sure to include your email address in the comment field form -- not in the body of the comments.) We'll close comments Saturday, April 24 at 9am Pacific Time and announce the winner that day. Good luck!

PS: For more good stuff from Joy & Rebecca, make sure to check out their blog, The Green Baby Guide.

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Comments closed! The random number generator picked #32, and Ashley left the 32nd comment: "Expecting first baby in August - would love a copy!" Congrats to Ashley and thanks to everyone who left a comment. Who knew we had so many pregnant readers? Congrats to you all!

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Family friendly field trip to a transfer station?

Our school's green team is contemplating something a bit radical. A field trip. With kids. To the transfer station. Also known as 'the dump.'

I went to the transfer station while in Master Recycler training. I wasn't able to take a picture that really captured the vastness or essence of the transfer station. But I do kind of like this one:

The transfer station is huge. There's garbage trucks and pickup trucks and the hazardous waste section. There's the yard debris and construction debris. And piles of broken down sofas. And then the mountains and mountains of smelly stuff that is household garbage. You know. The bags of dog poop. The vacuum cleaner bags. The dinners our kids didn't finish. Oh and all the stuff from restaurants and school cafeterias and hospitals. Did I forget to mention the rats? The rats LOVE the transfer station, especially when food waste is mixed in. There's giant mechanical compactors and mind-boggling stats about the tons and tons of waste that are deposited here, then transferred to the landfill on a daily basis. Then of course, there's the smell. That's the primary reason a picture can't do it justice. The smell is hard to describe, but I'd guess you can imagine. The smell is not to be forgotten.

It is my humble opinion that anyone who benefits from municipal curbside waste collection should visit a transfer station and/or a landfill so that they can get down on their knees and thank the people who do this important job for them. I think it would make them pay their garbage/recycling bills with glee! They might start adding in tips for the haulers!

But kids? Not so sure. This field trip is planned for next month. I have a 5 and an 8 year old. Would they understand the enormity and importance of the job these people do? Or would they only complain about the horrific smell? Tell me, have you or would you take your kids to a transfer station or landfill?

Portland Earth Week events, April 22 & 24

Thursday is officially Earth Day (but doesn't every day feel like Earth Day?) and there are lots of activities and celebrations happening all over the Portland metro area on both Thursday and Saturday. Here are a few:

Thursday

St. Johns Earth Day Celebration, 2-7pm. A family event that focuses on how the Port of Portland protects the environment. Mad Science will offer zany, hands-on science experiments and the Burgerville truck will be hawking its mostly-local fast food in the parking lot. Free. 8427 N. Central

Garden Home Earth Day Sustainability Fair, 4-6pm. Check out this how-to sustainability fair featuring gardening, recycling, green building, kids crafts and more. Free. 7475 SW Oleson Road

Clackamas County Celebrating Earth Day Shred-it Day, 12-5pm. Paper shredding and electronics recycling available, including cell phones, hearing aids and eye glasses. Experts on hand to answer your recycling questions! Free shredding for 1st box of paper, $5 for each additional box. 694 NE Fourth, Canby.

Saturday

Earth Day 2010: Re-Seeding Our World!10am-7pm. City Repair presents this 11th annual event focused on community empowerment and sustainability. Music (featuring the awesome MarchFourth Marching Band @ 2:30), workshops, and info booths abound! Free. Washington HS Field, SE 12th & Stark

Earth Day Children's Book Drive, 10am-4pm. Drop off your gently-used children's books at any New Season's Market store or the Laurelhurst Whole Foods. All books will go to the Children's Book Bank, which will get them into the hands of low-income children in the Portland area.

Portland Farmers Market Earth Day Celebration, 9am-2pm. Along with the usual cornucopia of locally-grown offerings, enjoy Earth Day activities and DIY projects. Free. South Park Blocks between Hall & Montgomery

Hillsboro Earth Day Recycling Event, 9am-Noon. In conjunction with the Relay for Life, recycle electronics, bicycles, fluorescent light bulbs, rimless tires, and used clothing and household goods for reuse. $2 for tires, otherwise free. 2025 NW Cornelius Pass Road.

Earth Day Family Fun Fair, 12-5pm. Offerings include a native plant sale, children's crafts, CSA information, free garden seedlings for children, a maypole dance, and music. Master Recyclers (woo hoo!) will be collecting electronics, CFLs, household batteries, block styrofoam and old child car seats. Unitarian Universalist Church, 22785 NW Birch, Hillsboro.

Milagros Boutique Earth Day Swap, 2pm. Bring in household items, decor, books and magazines, clothing and anything else swap-able! Free. 5433 NE 30th.

Premier of Fresh the Movie, 1pm. Described by sustainable farming guru and film subject Joel Salatin as 'part 2 of Food Inc' this documentary explores more of America's need to reinvent its farming system. Runs through April 28, various times. Hollywood Theatre.

Feel free to add more Earth Day events in the comments!

Celebrating a family culture of reuse/repair

A funny thing happened on the way to my first communion, back in 1975. My mother was adjusting my white tulle veil. Can you blame her? I'm her only daughter. There's only one first communion, and not a whole lot of other opportunities in life to dress all in white with a veil! Lo and behold, her ring snagged on my veil while primping. Ripping a giant hole in the back. Somehow I remained unaware of this mini calamity or forgot (because, heck, I looked great from the front, and what else matters?). Years later, after spying the veil in a closet, I got it out to play dress-up. After my clandestine playing, I noticed the hole. And came to the immediate conclusion that I must have done it, and holy cow, was I ever going to be in BIG TROUBLE if my mom found out. It wasn't until my oldest daughter started preparing for her first communion that I learned the real story. Phew! One less thing to go to confession for.

My mom had bought a first communion dress at a rummage sale several years ago, and it has been waiting in the closet (pawed and drooled over for some time by my two girls). My oldest, bless her heart, asked if she could wear my old veil with the second-hand dress, after I mentioned I could probably fix it by replacing the tulle. It turned out to be a simple afternoon project. Nothing like replacing a zipper.

Now this coming May, my mom and I, along with the rest of our families will get to see our beautiful daughter walk down the aisle in the white veil I once wore. My mom and I promise to be cautious (and ring-free!) when primping.

I am like a broken record in our home when it comes to Reduce and Reuse. Sometimes I think my words falls on deaf ears. But when my daughter asked if she could wear my old veil, I knew the message had gotten through. It is a blessing to raise a child who doesn't look down on second-hand goods and values vintage over new. Holes and all.