Lessons from a greenish celebration

Throwing a party throws me into a tizzy. I'll confess that entertaining is not my forté. If it's anything more complex than having a kid or two over for a playdate, I start to lose it. I dream of emulating certain friends who entertain with such grace and elegance. The planning, the decisions, trying to balance my green goals with highly competitive considerations like cost and convenience. All of it leaves me wanting to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head and bleat out: 'I want my mommy.' Thankfully, my mom has been visiting for the past week, helping with the planning, prep and cleaning. My husband's mom too. I hate to tell you this, but I do have the best mother-in-law in the world. Sorry everyone. Someone had to get her. I hope I am deserving.

I'd like to say having a celebration gets easier as time goes on. Yet for me, it doesn't. I find myself waking up at 4am thinking of all the million tasks still to do, and wondering if I'll even survive! But guess what? I did! And I do feel there were some lessons to share from our most recent greenish celebration:

• Ask for help, and accept it when it is offered. I HATE to ask for help. I don't know why. But every friend and neighbor that I asked, gladly gave me exactly what I needed, and then some. Heather loaned me a big cooler so that I could chill beer on the back patio. Our chicken neighbors had enviable blooms on rhodies and other plants in their yard, and gladly let me snip as many as I needed for vases, providing (for free!) all the floral decor at the party. My aunt volunteered to make a gluten-free dessert, when I was starting to get seriously overwhelmed. My mother-in-law made some of her famous Filipino delicacies: pancit (a noodle dish) and lumpia (eggroll). Yummmmmm….
• Food? We made a few compromises. While I resisted buying commercially processed food, we did buy a heck of a lot of out-of-season produce in rigid plastics (that I normally would NEVER get), so issues of food miles? Um, well, don't ask, don't tell. While I'm normally such a zealot about this, I had to keep reminding myself that we don't entertain often and a party should be special. We should be allowed to break some rules.
• Ditto on the bubbly water. Bottled water! I know, I know! Repeat above mantra: It's a party and should be special!
• I did not need a new outfit. Heck, I thought about it for a long time. I kept thinking I would shop a bit and treat myself. Time wise, I never could fit it in, and you know what? I think I looked pretty good simply because I don't dress up often -- so when I do pull out a skirt from the back of my closet that hasn't gotten a lot of wear, it works.
• We did not need to go nuts over the yard, deck or landscape. My husband mowed the grass, and we put out some picnic blankets. I did dust off our lawn chairs, as they've been in deep storage for the winter months. It did not matter that the cushions are sun-faded and missing a few buttons.
• The party kits were a major hit! Several adults told me how much they liked the colorful kid plates, as they sampled lots of different things but did not overindulge. It worked well for the kids too, since they didn't heap their plates full of broccoli and carrots to make their parents happy, then throw it all out once the folks weren't looking and they could make a bee-line to the desserts. Somehow I have mis-located (I refuse to say 'lost') one cloth napkin. I'm hoping it will still turn up. Since all of the serve-ware was plastic, nothing was broken!
• You can write 'no gifts, please' on the evite, yet many of your guests will ignore that request. Again, that's ok. It's a party. It's a lesson in graciousness. It gives my kids a chance to practice writing 'thank you notes.'
• Plan ahead. I am not a fancy baker, but I can make cookies. In the weeks before the party, I made several batches of cookie dough while my kids were at school, and froze them. I baked them (again, while the kids were at school) right before the celebration. I was so glad I did this.
• Even if you are having mostly family over, you have to invite your best friend. I can't tell you how many times Heather said exactly the right thing at the right minute. Such as: 'You look gorgeous! Your daughter is a vision in white! The service was wonderful. The food spread is glorious.'

When all is said and done, it was a joyful celebration. There was plenty of food and drink. The weather was delightful. We even had a ton of family and friends come to the church and witness the First Communion, which was important to my daughter and to me. There came a point in my pre-celebration stress when I started to let it all go. Would trimming the hedge really make it a better party? Probably not. People will still have a good time, bushy hedge and all. So perhaps, greenish entertaining does get easier with practice and perspective. Just like greening your lifestyle. It's a million little baby steps, and it all works out in the end.